I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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