hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
