Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
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when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
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sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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