Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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