if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
