Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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