so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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