Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
