She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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