They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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