My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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