brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
