Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
