whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
