Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
