He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
