Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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