Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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