im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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