My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
