and she was petting her beer can
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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