i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
