I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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