Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.

  (310): View more from California

  So you didn't like Bolt?

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  (404): Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later. (310): So you didn't like Bolt? http://tfl.nu/dqy6
  Replies (2) Good night (3017) Bad night (533)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.

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  (601): He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal. http://tfl.nu/idbe
  Replies (12) Good night (749) Bad night (3578)
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  And you didn't burst into flames?

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  (339): He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church. (1-203): And you didn't burst into flames? http://tfl.nu/aa0l
  Replies (14) Good night (5344) Bad night (1060)
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  (516): View more from New York

  And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.

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  (516): And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this. http://tfl.nu/g7ey
  Replies (9) Good night (3941) Bad night (961)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.

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  (303): stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole. http://tfl.nu/0oq5
  Replies (13) Good night (4783) Bad night (987)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.

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  (503): I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too. http://tfl.nu/16uc
  Replies (23) Good night (7258) Bad night (1093)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME

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  (443): EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME http://tfl.nu/5t87
  Replies (2) Good night (2017) Bad night (716)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.

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  (228): It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression. http://tfl.nu/876s
  Replies (11) Good night (761) Bad night (1979)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.

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  (360): Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people. http://tfl.nu/w1ks
  Replies (33) Good night (3030) Bad night (944)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.

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  (757): and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion. http://tfl.nu/2944
  Replies (6) Good night (1252) Bad night (533)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment

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  (660): The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment http://tfl.nu/9skg
  Replies (5) Good night (1038) Bad night (496)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?

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  (602): You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me? http://tfl.nu/mi92
  Replies (9) Good night (731) Bad night (4445)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me

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  (630): Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me http://tfl.nu/sh43
  Replies (7) Good night (962) Bad night (419)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car

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  (727): You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car http://tfl.nu/u1q1
  Replies (1) Good night (619) Bad night (202)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.

  (1-216): View more from Ohio

  Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.

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  (216): For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy. (1-216): Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry. http://tfl.nu/kldv
  Replies (9) Good night (379) Bad night (621)

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