Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.

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  (313): Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical. http://tfl.nu/9qp0
  Replies (2) Good night (783) Bad night (1024)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.

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  (305): We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction. http://tfl.nu/e3vr
  Replies (33) Good night (826) Bad night (5569)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook

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  (716): I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook http://tfl.nu/bd4f
  Replies (8) Good night (3515) Bad night (660)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor

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  (541): And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor http://tfl.nu/0k04
  Replies (17) Good night (949) Bad night (4794)
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  (347): View more from New York

  Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.

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  (347): Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes. http://tfl.nu/qm7s
  Replies (12) Good night (2422) Bad night (1395)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins

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  (215): thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins http://tfl.nu/qdth
  Replies (6) Good night (4682) Bad night (1038)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv

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  (440): I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv http://tfl.nu/sgj1
  Replies (11) Good night (1176) Bad night (2174)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!

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  (513): I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR! http://tfl.nu/4gxu
  Replies (10) Good night (3188) Bad night (965)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs

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  (727): Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs http://tfl.nu/d5ya
  Replies (33) Good night (1043) Bad night (6889)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...

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  (425): Come, dress lightly, bring tequila... http://tfl.nu/t2fe
  Replies (6) Good night (2145) Bad night (1080)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?

  (281): View more from Texas

  If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!

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  (214): Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex? (281): If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy! http://tfl.nu/0a5o
  Replies (16) Good night (2320) Bad night (536)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.

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  (217): Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day. http://tfl.nu/dztj
  Replies (3) Good night (924) Bad night (896)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door

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  (336): We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door http://tfl.nu/uhw2
  Replies (4) Good night (451) Bad night (1065)
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  (353): View more from

  I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!

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  (353): I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?! http://tfl.nu/o40o
  Replies (2) Good night (769) Bad night (192)
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  (716): View more from New York

  tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"

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  (716): tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered" http://tfl.nu/w7hl
  Replies (0) Good night (235) Bad night (114)

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