So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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