think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
