Texts From Last Night

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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.

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  (413): There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/whxc
  Replies (18) Good night (1070) Bad night (2445)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I puked a lego.

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  (603): I puked a lego. http://tfl.nu/7r9h
  Replies (10) Good night (1849) Bad night (2747)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I just cut my nipple shaving

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  (902): I just cut my nipple shaving http://tfl.nu/31st
  Replies (41) Good night (607) Bad night (4943)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.

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  (604): I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone. http://tfl.nu/1vtw
  Replies (2) Good night (618) Bad night (2077)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house

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  (973): i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house http://tfl.nu/qme2
  Replies (11) Good night (12301) Bad night (877)
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  (559): View more from California

  I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?

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  (559): I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day? http://tfl.nu/b9nt
  Replies (182) Good night (21504) Bad night (2867)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  the day after is always just damage control

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  (208): the day after is always just damage control http://tfl.nu/ugvq
  Replies (6) Good night (1156) Bad night (2814)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more

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  (919): Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more http://tfl.nu/wtn6
  Replies (18) Good night (1510) Bad night (5023)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.

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  (315): I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong. http://tfl.nu/20fz
  Replies (26) Good night (7288) Bad night (1023)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"

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  (208): this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin" http://tfl.nu/odvv
  Replies (16) Good night (7863) Bad night (1075)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Where else am I to apply my creativity?

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.

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  (303): Where else am I to apply my creativity? (1-303): I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start. http://tfl.nu/ttid
  Replies (5) Good night (3190) Bad night (879)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.

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  (913): He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka. http://tfl.nu/p6nb
  Replies (7) Good night (5698) Bad night (1195)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion

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  (406): I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion http://tfl.nu/tw2a
  Replies (2) Good night (2841) Bad night (1154)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment

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  (773): We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment http://tfl.nu/wv2s
  Replies (2) Good night (646) Bad night (234)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.

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  (773): you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter. http://tfl.nu/7j29
  Replies (0) Good night (669) Bad night (231)

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