I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.