I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm like the big dick whisperer.