Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is