my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
