I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
