Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
