are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
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