just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
