I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
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