Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
