She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
