why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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