so explain again why im purple
no
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
