rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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