She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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