we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
