Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize