people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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