omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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