I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize