seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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