WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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