So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
