I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
