you guys were way drunker than both of me
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
