she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
