People with herpes should wear stickers.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Mom said you looked used
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize