Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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