Sponge bath it is.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
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I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
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Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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