I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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