He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
