; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
