3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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