so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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