Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
