I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
