Three words: puerto rican gang bang
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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