I accidentally burped into my bong.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
