I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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