Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm getting married
To pizza
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize