looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Bring me that man meat
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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