According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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