just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
