so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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