it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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