Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
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Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
This house was built for laser tag.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
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I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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