You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
