shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
