Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Farmville is her only friend.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
