he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
